Picking Up The Pieces
by Miss Peg
Summary: Five times Lisbon tries to save Tommy and one time she can't. Includes spoilers for Season 4. Contains swearing and scenes of a sexual nature.
1. Chapter 1

**Title**: Picking Up The Pieces

**Rating**: T (language)

**Summary**: Five times Lisbon tries to save Tommy and one time she can't. Includes spoilers for Season 4.

**Disclaimer**: I wish, but no, it belongs to someone else.

**Notes**: A Big Bang fic written for The Mentalist Big Bang challenge on LiveJournal.

x

**One**

Teresa Lisbon stood on the sidewalk by the school and waited. She'd been doing it practically her whole life, stopping off to pick her brothers up on the way home. Especially since James joined soccer and had practice until late. It was different though, now. As though everything that once was had suddenly become something else. She stopped being the older sister four years ago when her mother died and now she had to stop being the older sister legally also. She closed her eyes and bowed her head in an attempt to ward off another wave of sadness. Whatever had happened over the last few years, it still hurt so badly to lose him.

''Hi Reese,' said Joseph. He ran along the school yard towards her with a partial smile on his face. None of them had smiled properly in a while.

'Hey Joey, what's up?'

'I got a 98 on my spelling test.' He held out the paper in glee.

Lisbon took it and scanned the sheet before handing it back to him. 'Nicely done!'

'Thanks.' His grin grew wider and Lisbon couldn't help comparing it to the memory of her mother. They all looked a little too like her from time to time.

'Where's your brother?'

'Probably getting beaten up again.'

'Those boys still harassing him?'

Joseph nodded his head and folded up his spelling test before placing it in the front pocket of his school bag. Lisbon ruffled his hair as he knelt down. He shook her hand off and when he stood back up he was still grinning at her.

'You did good kid, now let's go find your brother and go home.'

They walked around the side of the school building towards the gym where Tommy had his last class. Lisbon remembered the last time she'd been there the semester before she moved to the high school. Unlike Tommy, she only had good memories.

'He usually comes out before now.'

Lisbon nodded and rested a hand on her brother's shoulder. She had a bad feeling. They walked inside where the sound of someone shouting travelled out from the boys' locker room.

'You wait here,' she told Joseph, staring him in the eye to make sure he understood. He nodded and she left him alone.

The locker room smelled not unlike the bathroom at home after a week of nobody cleaning it. She wrinkled her nose and sneaked inside. There was something strangely alluring about being allowed into the boys' locker room, it would never have happened had she still been a student at the school.

'Tommy?' she shouted out.

No answer.

Instead the only sound she could hear was the grunt and groan of someone being hit in the stomach. She'd heard it enough times at home with her brothers and before, she'd been both on the receiving end and the one doing the pummelling. Without a second thought she ran through the locker room towards the showers where two teenage boys stood over Tommy, their fists flying as they took it in turns to hit him.

'What the hell are you doing?' she screamed and ran into the shower to pull the boys off of him. 'Get away from him.'

The two boys stepped back laughing as she pulled Tommy to his feet and helped him walk out of the shower block.

'Little Tommy, just cause your dad killed himself doesn't mean your sister has to fight your battles for you as well as read you a bedtime story.'

Seeing red, Lisbon let go of Tommy and lunged at the boys. One managed to run away but she caught the other by the scruff of his shirt and threw him against the wall. She edged herself close to him, until their noses were almost touching and spat out her words.

'He didn't kill himself and you probably still get your ass wiped by your mommy. Leave my brother alone or I'll show you what it's like to be pummelled.'

'Ooh, I'm so scared.' The boy held his hands up in mock defeat, a smile firmly spread across his face. 'I'm shaking in my boots. I'm not scared of no girl.' 

Lisbon lifted her fist up and threw it in the direction of his face, skimming the edge of his cheek purposefully but doing no real harm. The boy's face turned white and the moment she let go of his clothing, he scarpered.

Lisbon watched him follow the other boy out of the room before turning back to Tommy. 'What the hell was that?'

'Nothing,' he said, talking to his feet.

'Like hell it was.' Lisbon rested her hands on her hips. 'If I hadn't turned up you'd probably be in the emergency room.'

'Don't be fucking stupid Reese, the only reason I'd be in the emergency room is because you turned up. Thanks for nothing.' Tommy walked towards the exit, not caring to pick up his feet or bag as he trailed them along the floor.

'Hey, don't you walk away from me and don't you be cursing either.' Lisbon walked behind him. She tried her best; she didn't know how to be a parent. The least he could be was grateful and less of a handful. 'Mom and dad didn't raise you to talk back like that.'

Tommy stopped in the doorway and turned, his eyes filled with tears. 'Newsflash Reese, mom and dad are dead and even when he was alive, what did dad do? Huh?'

'This isn't over,' she shouted.

'No 'cause I'm gonna get beaten up tomorrow and the next day and the next.'

'I won't let that happen.'

'What are you gonna do? Be there in the corridor when I come out of all my classes? Hold my hand when I do gym? You can't fucking do anything Reese so don't bother trying.'

Defeated, Lisbon stared at the space her brother vacated and took a few deep breaths. What did he expect her to do? She loved him, she wanted to look after him, she was doing the best she could. Then again, maybe her best wasn't good enough. Who was she kidding? She couldn't be a parent to three teenage boys. Maybe the social worker was right; maybe she needed to let Tommy and Joseph go into foster care.

xxx

For three days Lisbon didn't pick Tommy up from school, instead she raced home and waited in the kitchen with a mug of coffee. Would he turn up with a split lip or bruises on his arms? Would she get a call from the emergency room? She half expected the police to arrive with news that he'd been beaten to death. She didn't want to make things worse by going to the school and trying to protect him, not when he seemed so adamant he could look after himself.

'Reese!' Joseph shouted from the porch.

Lisbon placed her mug on the table and ran through the house towards Joseph's voice. When she saw him, he appeared almost crippled trying to support Tommy's heavier form. He let go as soon as Lisbon had taken hold of his other arm.

'Get the first aid kit,' Lisbon said and helped Tommy hobble towards the couch. 'What the hell happened?'

'What do you think?' Tommy rolled his eyes and groaned as he sunk against the soft cushions.

'I think I need to speak to your principle.'

'How many times do I have to tell you to stay the fuck out of my business?'

'And watch you get beaten up week after week? It's not going to happen, Thomas. Tomorrow morning I'm going to speak to Mr Hardy whether you like it or not.'

Joseph dropped the box onto the table in front of them and began rifling through it; he found a box of band aids and held them out for Lisbon. She smiled; his innocence was light relief from the dramas of Tommy's life.

'I'm going to need you to put some water on the boil.'

He disappeared back into the kitchen whilst Lisbon tended to Tommy's wounds. He winced as she helped him to remove his t-shirt and pushed her away when she pressed a cotton bud dipped in antiseptic against a cut above his eye.

'You might need stitches.'

'I don't need stitches.'

'Since when did you have a PhD?'

'Since I hit puberty,' Tommy smirked.

She rolled her eyes and took in a deep breath in an attempt to resist the urge to hit him across the head. He could be pretty humorous when he wanted to be, that moment was not it.

'Good to see they didn't knock the comedy out of you, but I really didn't need to know that.'

xxx

Once the sun had set and Joseph had gone to bed, Lisbon sat at the kitchen table with a mug of hot cocoa and a pile of homework. She was behind, had been for some time, and caring for her brothers only made it harder to catch up. She had dreams, ideas of what she wanted out of life, dreams she considered putting to one side for her family.

'Got anymore?' said Tommy as he slung himself carefully into a chair. She filled a mug with cocoa and stirred in some hot milk left in the pan.

'If I give this to you, you need to start letting me in,' said Lisbon, holding the mug up and out of his reach. He nodded his head and she passed it across. 'If we're going to be a family, like we used to be, we need to start looking out for each other.'

'Having my sister beat up kids at school isn't going to help; it makes me look like a wuss.'

'I promise I won't do that again, but this has got to stop.'

'It will.'

'I can't guarantee that. I don't know how to handle it like an adult, Tommy.' Lisbon stared into her mug and thought for a moment. There were things she hadn't told her brothers, things she didn't think they needed to know at the time. She lifted her head and cracked a weak smile. 'The social worker wanted to take you and Joey away, did you know that? She thinks you'd be better off in foster care but I fought to keep us together. Now I'm not so sure.'

He stared at her, his eyes wide and watery as he heaved each breath. 'No, that can't happen. Don't let that happen, Reese.'

'I don't know what to do anymore,' she admitted, avoiding his gaze.

'I don't want to go into care; I want to stay here with you, all of us together. A family. I want you looking after us.'

Lisbon's smile grew and stretched up towards her eyes; she let out a long, deep breath and reached out to his hand. She squeezed it gently. 'Okay, I want that too.'

_**Part Two coming soon!**_


	2. Chapter 2

**Title: **Picking Up The Pieces

**Rating: **T (language)

**Summary: **Five times Lisbon tries to save Tommy and one time she can't. Includes spoilers for Season 4.

**Disclaimer: **I wish, but no, it belongs to someone else.

**Notes: **A Big Bang fic written for The Mentalist Big Bang challenge on LiveJournal.

**Two  
><strong>  
>She arrived home from college sometime after one. The house was empty, which made sense because her brothers were supposed to be in school. It felt good to be home, if only for a weekend. She thought about all the times she had listened to Willie Shubert to remember everything she missed back home. Now she longed to listen again, to fill the silence with music. The house hadn't been that silent for so long and despite being surrounded by college freshmen she would have quite happily gone back to campus; if only to escape the uncomfortable silence now awaiting her. She ran the faucet in the kitchen and waited for the water to go cold before filling a glass with water and drinking it. The last few years had been so hectic that she hadn't had time to think let alone deal with any of the issues surrounding her father's death. She'd grown so used to not thinking about it that being faced with the space needed, it left her shaking.<p>

A bang and muttered voices travelled up the hallway. Lisbon froze, her eyebrows furrowed and she ran through the self-defence steps she had learned in her first week at college. It wasn't like they had much worth stealing, but with a career goal in law enforcement she wasn't happy to let her house be burglarised. She slipped off her shoes and tiptoed along the corridor past the bedrooms until she stopped outside the offending door. Everything they had told her about making as much noise as possible to scare the person away disappeared as her instincts took over. If she allowed them to leave, she would never know who it was. They'd have a better case to take to the cops if she caught them red handed.

She rested her hand down slowly upon the door handle to Tommy's room and quickly pushed it open. The element of surprise; only the person (or should that be persons) on the other side weren't the only ones in shock.

'Tommy?' she screamed, closing her eyes at the sight of him naked in his bed with a half-naked cheerleader. Trust him to bed a cheerleader in the middle of the school day. Lisbon let out a long, slow breath. The urge to slap him across the head and shout at him for being irresponsible far outweighed any other way of dealing with the situation; though she stopped herself. The last thing she wanted to do was make him angry and the adrenaline that had been building up inside her body was already working its way out of her system.

'What are you even doing here?' he asked, aghast as he tried to cover himself up. The young girl in his arms was already up and dressed before she made her excuses and left. 'Call me.'

'Whatever.'

The front door slammed closed before either of them moved. Lisbon's eyes never faltered on her younger brother's face until he sat up shaking his head.

'What the fuck was that?' he shouted, pointing towards the doorway.

'What was what?' she held her arms out at her sides. 'I didn't expect anyone to be home. I thought we had a break in.'

'It's not a break in.'

'I can see that.' Lisbon gave him a quick once over, the sheet he'd pulled across his body barely covered his groin. She closed her eyes again; the last thing she wanted to see was any more of her brother than she had to.

'Can you fuck off now?' he shouted.

'Stop cursing at me Tommy, I was worried, wasn't my fault. Besides, what are you even doing with that girl? I thought you were dating Kaitlin.'

'Who says that's not Kaitlin?'

'Is it?'

'No, it's Cherie, or Carly; something beginning with a C, or maybe it was a K.'

Lisbon rolled her eyes. 'And she is?'

'None of your damn business.'

Tommy lay down and reached towards the end of his bed where he pulled a packet of cigarettes out of his pants pocket. Lisbon reached forwards and stole the cigarette from his mouth before he had a chance to light it.

'Not inside Tommy, your room already smells like a bar.'

'If you'd let me alone I could put some clothes on and smoke in the yard.'

'I can take a hint,' said Lisbon, holding her hands up in front of her before stepping backwards into the doorway.

'Apparently you can't.'

Lisbon folded her arms across her chest and stood firm on the spot. 'Hey, don't you talk back to me Thomas; I probably did you a favour. How well do you even know that girl?'

'Well enough.'

Lisbon raised an eyebrow. 'You safe?'

'What do you mean am I safe?'

'I mean, are you using condoms?'

'Argh, Reese.' Tommy pulled the sheet up over his head and pulled it tight around his face. 'This is like talking about sex with your mother. We were careful, now leave me alone.'

'Alright.' Lisbon reached for the doorknob as she walked out of the room pulling the door with her. 'Hurry up and get back to school.'

'Can't, I'm sick.'

She pushed the door back open and stood with her hand poised on the knob. 'Too sick to do math but not sick enough that you can smoke a doobie and sleep with some girl you barely know?'

He removed the sheet from his face. 'I'm offended. Who says this ain't a real smoke?'

'Is it?' she said with a raised eyebrow.

'No.'

'We've gotta talk about this Tommy.' Lisbon pointed at him. 'You can't be throwing your life away with that stuff.'

'Like you never get offered it now you're in big shot college.'

'Just 'cause someone offers it doesn't mean you say yes.'

'Quit the Saint Teresa act, I know you're not as innocent as you make out.'

'Believe what you will, now get dressed and get out of the house.'

Without another word Lisbon pulled the door closed and leant against the wall. Coming home was supposed to be a break from her studies and a chance to enjoy some time with her brothers, instead she'd returned to the exact place she was in six months ago. Just forty-six hours until she was headed back to college.

xxx

'Where's Tommy?' asked Lisbon as she helped James clear the dinner table.

'Probably in the shed,' he said. 'I'm going to Simone's, don't wait up.'

'Wait, what's he doing in the shed?'

'No idea.' He shrugged and slung his jacket over his shoulders before walking towards the door.

'You're supposed to know, you're the grown up.'

'Laters.'

Lisbon cursed under her breath and rolled her eyes. Why did everything have to return to normal with her return? She went home to spend some time with her brothers, not be their mother again. She emptied the sink and walked out into the frozen air outside. She didn't bother knocking, just opened the door. The element of surprise was always the best way with Tommy, though like many times before, Lisbon was as surprised as him.

'Pot? You're growing pot plants in our shed?'

Tommy stared at her like a rabbit in the middle of the road faced with an oncoming car. Before he could react she grabbed him by the wrist and pulled his hands behind his back. She pushed him against the wall of the shed and held him there.

'You're gonna make a mighty fine cop someday,' said Tommy, mocking in his tone.

'Shut it.' Lisbon pushed harder against his wrists. 'Do you know how long you can go to jail for dealing?'

'It's just a bit of pot, no big deal.'

'No big deal?' Lisbon let go and took a step back. She rubbed her temples, great, a headache. 'Say that again in a couple of months when the cops drag your ass to jail and you're begging me to get you out. We don't have that kind of money Tommy.'

'You do, going to college, what are you paying them if we don't have that kind of money?'

'Ever heard of financial aid? No? That's 'cause you never go to school.'

'Maybe I quit.'

He tried to push past her but she held up her arms and blocked the door. She wasn't about the let him throw his life away, regardless of how many times he made mistakes. He stared her in the eye and she stared back.

'Maybe I'll march your ass into that school and re-enrol you. You're not going through life without graduating high school,' she said.

'Who the fuck are you to tell me what to do?' said Tommy.

Lisbon lifted her head up and glared at him. 'I'm the adult who'll make sure you get a good education even if I have to move back here and walk you to class myself. Think your little girlfriend would like that?'

'She's not my girlfriend.'

'Funny that because if you're not careful she'll be the mother of your kid.'

'I told you already, we were safe.'

'Destroy the plants.'

'No.'

'Thomas, if you don't destroy those plants right now school won't be the only place I'll be marching your ass.'

'Fine, alright, I'll do it.'

He turned around and emptied the pot plant onto the floor before stamping on the leaves, twisting his foot into the ground. As Lisbon watched on, he pushed past her and ran towards the yard gate.

'Where are you going?'

'Out.'

'Out where?'

'Fuck off Lisbon, you're not my mum and you've no right asking questions when you're never even here.'

xxx

The hands of the clock ticked over the twelve when the front door opened. Lisbon turned off the television and listened for Tommy's next movements. He was slow and his breath came out in loud, sharp stabs. Eventually the lounge door opened and he stumbled inside, his face covered in blood and his eyes already blackened from his misshapen nose.

'God, Tommy,' said Lisbon, rushing to his side and cupping his face.

'I'm okay,' he muttered.

'No, you're not.' Lisbon lowered her hands and headed for the hallway. 'I'm gonna call the cops.'

'No.' Tommy reached out and wrapped his arms around her waist, holding her still until she lifted her hands in defeat.

'You're bleeding Tommy,' she said, reaching out to his face again. He winced as she poked and prodded the skin around his nose. 'And that is definitely broken; someone needs to pay for this.'

'You go to the cops and I'll go down for dealing.'

'I thought you hadn't started yet?'

'No.' He lowered his gaze. 'But I owe some people. They didn't appreciate me destroying their plants.'

Lisbon folded her arms and glared at him. As smart as he was, he had equal amounts of stupidity for which she had no cause. Sometimes she blamed herself for not setting enough boundaries and leaving for college at the first opportunity. Other times she wondered if their dad's alcoholism after their mum's death was a bigger contributing factor.

'And you want me to feel sorry for you for that?'

'No police, alright?'

'Alright.' Lisbon unfolded her arms and eased her stern expression. 'If you need a bit of money, I can get you some. I don't have much.'

'I don't need you solving my problems for me Reese, go back to college and get your degree, leave the big boy jobs to Tommy.'

'Fine. Just don't get yourself arrested, go clean up and I'll drive you to the hospital.'


	3. Chapter 3

**Title: **Picking Up The Pieces

**Rating: **T (language)

**Summary: **Five times Lisbon tries to save Tommy and one time she can't. Includes spoilers for Season 4.

**Disclaimer: **I wish, but no, it belongs to someone else.

**Notes: **A Big Bang fic written for The Mentalist Big Bang challenge on LiveJournal.

Thanks to Lady Shaye for reviewing chapter two, sorry for the delay! I'm taking part in Operation: Reviews over on Paint-It-Red (the Mentalist fan forum - link in my profile) which aims to get more reviews for Mentalist fanfiction. This story took me many hours to complete, with the new FFnet reviewing system you don't even have to click 'comment' so you can leave a review in seconds!

**Three**

Lisbon woke when her phone vibrated off her end table and landed loudly on the wooden floor of her apartment. She reached out to the surface of the table and ended up tumbling out of the bed after it. In a half-asleep state, she retrieved her phone and answered it on the final ring.

'Lisbon,' she mumbled, still caught up in sleep.

'Reese?' said the voice on the other end of the phone. Lisbon opened her eyes and sat up quickly, as she so often did with an unexpected call from one of her brothers. She prepared herself for the worst as the potential conversation ran through her mind.

'Tommy, what's wrong?'

'Why do you assume anything is wrong?'

'It's the middle of the night.' Lisbon yawned and leant back against the bed. It was three in the morning, just four hours before an early work shift; the last thing she wanted was to make pleasant conversation.

'Oh.'

'Are Joe and James okay?'

'I assume so.'

Lisbon couldn't hide the frustration in her voice, she didn't want to. She was pissed, simple as that. 'Then why are you calling?'

'I need you to come and get me.'

'From where?' she rolled her eyes and awaited the words she half expected to come.

'The cop shop, I've been arrested.'

xxx

The sun began to rise on the horizon as Lisbon drove through the state. If only her brother had set up home where they grew up, or better still, on the east coast, then she wouldn't have to bail him out. Literally. She didn't even know he was living in California until that call. She kept her hands firmly on the wheel, only taking one off to take a sip of her coffee, which was the only thing keeping her awake. She considered the whole thing to be practice for when she headed up her own team at the FBI or another prominent organisation.

The radio had been off since she set off towards Bakersfield, something which rarely happened in her car. She loved to spend her morning drive listening to the hosts' banter in order to prepare her for another busy day.

'Officer Teresa Lisbon, I'm here to bail out my brother, Tommy; Thomas,' she informed the officer at the front desk, flashing her badge in the hope they'd go easy on him.

The man barely glanced up as he waved a hand across the entrance hall. 'Take a seat.'

Lisbon sat with her arms across her middle as she waited, impatiently, for Tommy. Eventually she stood up again and marched back towards the front desk.

'Excuse me,' she said loud and clearly which was enough to make the officer look her in the eye for the first time. 'I've been waiting for a half hour; my brother should have been released to me already. I know his rights and you have no right keeping him here any longer.'

The man rolled his eyes and pointed towards the seating area with his hand once more. 'Take a seat.'

'Not until you guarantee that my brother will be brought out right away.' Lisbon stood firmly on the spot, her arms folded across her chest. She wasn't about to be fobbed off by some sexist, small town officer who couldn't even respect a fellow cop.

xxx

'Have you even listened to a word I've said?' Lisbon groaned as they stood by her car.

Tommy rested his head on the frame and shook it from side to side, he looked a little worse for wear and Lisbon considered hitting him across the head in order to make him listen. Instead she let out a loud sigh and leant against the bumper.

'If you do anything while they investigate you, you'll be thrown straight back in jail and I won't be able to help you. They only let you out under the proviso that I stay with you.'

'Yeah, yeah, yeah,' Tommy muttered, throwing his jacket over his arm and opening the car door. 'The cops told me everything I needed to know, now get off my back and take me home.'

Lisbon walked around the car and slammed the door shut before Tommy could even move to sit down. He jumped back and stared at her as she glared back at him. He could misbehave all he wanted when she didn't have to bail him out, but she wouldn't stand for it now.

'Do you think I wanted to come here? I'm supposed to be at work. The only reason my boss allowed me out is because I'm owed leave. Now stop being such an immature punk and start answering my questions because I didn't come here to get your ass out of jail, I came here to help you.'

Tommy rolled his eyes. 'You always want to help me; don't you think I've had enough of your helping?'

'If it wasn't for me you'd be on your way to the county jail, don't start counting your chickens Tommy 'cause they sure as hell aren't going to hatch without me holding your hand.'

'Fuck off, Reese.'

Lisbon raised an eyebrow and brushed him off, she opened the door again. 'Get in the car and start telling me why the cops think you helped a known drug dealer steal prescription drugs.'

Before Lisbon could climb into the driver's seat a plain clothed officer came running towards her. She squinted as the sun shone brightly overhead stunting her view.

'Teresa Lisbon, I thought it was you,' the officer said with a smile spread wide across his face. 'What are you doing here? I thought you were still up in Sacremanto?'

'David Harper?' she gasped, her smile growing as wide as his. 'I don't believe it; I forgot you moved down here. How are you?'

'I'm good, so what brings you down to Pixley?'

'My little brother got arrested, had to bail him out.'

'Still saving Tommy's ass?'

'What can I say? I'm the only parent he's ever really known.'

'Hey, is that the drug case? It sounds pretty open and shut but then he didn't really say anything in interview, maybe you could get a little more out of him.'

'I'm certainly gonna try.'

'If you find out anything useful bring him back down here and we'll amend his statement.' David pulled a card from his shirt pocket and handed it to her. 'Or if you wanted to catch up.'

'I'll probably take you up on that,' she smiled, pocketing the card and reaching out a hand for him to shake. He ignored it and wrapped his arms tightly around her shoulders, something which took her a little by surprise.

'I've missed you.'

She nodded and pulled back. His eyes never moved from hers and she stared up into the dark blue pupils she knew all too well. She smiled and turned back to the car.

'I'll see you around,' she shouted as he walked away, before she climbed into the car and started up the engine.

xxx

Lisbon sat on the couch of Tommy's apartment clutching her purse. She'd called David Harper for an update on the case and somehow he talked her into a date. She'd not been on a date in a couple of years, was too busy working hard to bother with the simpler aspects of life. Contrary to how simple she'd assumed dating to be her heart fluttered at great speed inside her chest. When the knock came she sprang from her seat, then dropped her purse on the couch and attempted to look not quite ready.

He drove her to a restaurant downtown, a little Italian with foliage inside and bottles of olive oil on the table. He opened doors, he pulled back her chair and he took her sweater to hang on the back of her seat.

'It's lovely to see you again, Teresa,' he said, his smile reaching the corners of his eyes.

'Likewise.'

'It's a pity it's under such circumstances.'

'You know Tommy,' she joked. 'Sometimes I think I'll be bailing him out until the day he dies.'

'He's lucky to have someone as wonderful as you looking out for him,' David said as he reached out and took her hand into his. She moved to pull it back but he held it steady and she gave in to the feelings she'd long since put to one side. 'I've really missed you.'

'I've missed you too.' Lisbon tucked a strand of hair behind her ear and stared up at him coyly. 'When I've not been working that is.'

He leaned closer, his face lit up under the candlelight. 'And I bet you've been doing a lot of that.'

'You know me, Davey.'

'I do.'

He stared into her eyes a little too long for comfort. She cleared her throat and pulled her hand back, looking down at her glass of wine. She was there to look out for Tommy not date an ex-boyfriend, what was she thinking? She stood up and placed her napkin on the table.

'I should go,' she said, but as she moved away from the table his hand clasped hold of her wrist and she stopped.

'Teresa,' he whispered and before she could stop him his lips had covered hers. She tried to push away but then she settled into his embrace and allowed the kiss to deepen.

xxx

They pulled out outside Tommy's apartment a few hours later. He turned off the car and rested a hand on the small of her back. She turned to face him and allowed his lips to touch hers again.

'Can I see you again?'

'I don't know Davey,' she hesitated. 'I'm here to help Tommy.'

'We can help him together.'

'I have to go back to Sac eventually.'

The reality stood taller and wider than any moment of passion she could give into. Whether she wanted to see David again or not was beside the point, all that mattered to her was progressing in her career. He knew that, it had broken them up once already.

'That doesn't mean we can't enjoy each other's company for now.'

She nodded. 'Tommy told me that one of his friend's friends forced him into handing over the drugs. He's been in with the wrong crowd and if he didn't do what this guy told him to do, or if he went to the cops; he threatened him, David.'

The atmosphere in the car turned bitter as the subject of their romance came to a grinding halt. 'I'll see what I can find out.'

'Thanks.'

They shared a brief smile before she climbed out of the car.

xxx

Tommy was still up when she opened the front door. He jumped up from the couch and stared at her with expectations.

She raised her eyebrows. 'Can I help you with something?'

'What happened with Detective Dish?'

'Nothing.'

'Oh yeah, no tongue action?' Lisbon blushed. 'Oh there was, how about a little baby making?'

Lisbon slapped him gently across the arm. 'Quit with the joking around. He's going to get your ass out of this mess.'

'Really?'

'I hope so.'


	4. Chapter 4

**Title: **Picking Up The Pieces

**Rating: **T (language)

**Summary: **Five times Lisbon tries to save Tommy and one time she can't. Includes spoilers for Season 4.

**Disclaimer: **I wish, but no, it belongs to someone else.

**Notes: **A Big Bang fic written for The Mentalist Big Bang challenge on LiveJournal.

Thanks to tromana, Mentalgal, SteeleSimz and Guest for reviewing the last chapter. I seem to fail miserably at updating at the moment, I'm sorry.

**Four**

Some days Lisbon considered the future and saw herself married with children, other days she saw herself at the top of her career and living alone with a dog. She didn't even like dogs and even if she did, it would be cruel to keep one as a pet with the crazy hours she expected to work.

For the time being she would have to put up with a third floor walk-up in the middle of the city and a stray cat that begged her for attention every time she left the apartment.

As she sat down to a TV dinner and an old Western she remembered watching with her father, the door buzzer rang out through the apartment. Nobody ever dropped by and she certainly wasn't expecting any visitors. She placed her dinner cautiously on the arm of the chair and went to answer her call.

'Who is it?' she spoke into the handset.

'Reese.'

She hesitated. The last thing she had expected was for Tommy to turn up on her doorstep unannounced. Finally, after Tommy repeated her name a handful of times, she pressed the buzzer which allowed him entry to the building.

'Hi Tommy,' she said as she hugged him a little tighter than usual. It had been too long since they last saw each other and though she tried not to think about her brothers much, he was the one she worried about the most.

'Reese, thank God, I thought I'd come all this way and you weren't even in,' he said and wrapped his arms tightly around her. She closed her eyes for a moment and sunk into his arms.

Eventually, Lisbon took a step backwards out of Tommy's embrace. 'I just sat down to eat.'

'Anything good?'

'Not really.'

'What brings you here Tommy?' she asked with a hint of frustration in her voice. She was happy to see him, really she was, but she'd come to expect certain behaviours from her brothers and Tommy turning up on her doorstep surely meant something bad. 'You should have called, I could have been working.'

'You'd have gotten out eventually.'

'Still.'

'It's good to see you, hair's getting long,' he smiled and reached a hand out to the curls of her hair, she smiled back and pushed his hand out of the way. She'd been meaning to get it cut; she just never found the time.

'It's good to see you too. You're a little thinner than you were the last time, you eating right?'

'Of course.'

'Ordering take-out from a different place every night doesn't count.'

'Actually, I've been taking some lessons from the chef at work.'

'You've got yourself a job?'

'Waiter at Benny's Bar coming on seven months now.'

'Classy.'

'It pays the bills.'

She returned to her chair and offered Tommy a seat. The TV dinner abandoned as she sought information on her younger brother's life. It always made her feel better to know he had a stable job and money coming in.

'When was the last time you called Jimmy or Joe?'

''Bout a month ago.' Lisbon raised an eyebrow despite noting the hypocrisy. 'You haven't called them since July, Reese, you're not one to talk to me about keeping in touch. I haven't spoken to you in a year.'

Regardless of how she conducted her own life she had certain expectations, certain hopes that she couldn't afford herself. She wanted the best for her brothers. The way she saw it, her father's old 'do as I say and not as I do' rants spoke volumes.

'They're your brothers Tommy,' she said in her best mom voice.

'We're your only family Reese,' he returned with a tone that she could only assume was mocking hers.

She raised an eyebrow curiously. 'What's that supposed to mean?'

'It means Jimmy's engaged. I'm in a relationship. Even Joe's got himself a long-term girlfriend. What do you got Reese? A cat?'

'Fuck you too.'

'No need to talk to me like that, we just want you to be happy.'

'We?' she raised her eyebrow again until Tommy carried on talking.

'Me, Jimmy and Joe.'

'So that's why you're here?' Lisbon rolled her eyes and let out a soft sigh. She ought to have known Tommy wouldn't turn up on her doorstep without good cause. She'd expected him to need to borrow money. 'You drew the short straw to tell me to live a little?'

He hesitated. Something he usually did right before lying to her. She folded her arms and waited. 'Something like that.'

'What you and your brothers don't understand is that I'm working my way up in my career, which means making certain sacrifices.'

'Like never calling and forgetting birthdays? You didn't used to forget our birthday's Teresa.'

She held her arms tighter across her chest and gritted her teeth. So she spent most of her time down the station, in the gym or eating TV dinners in her apartment. She wasn't a complete loner; she went out for drinks with her colleagues at least a couple of times a month. What was the harm in that?

'It's been a busy year.'

A shot fired in the movie and Lisbon turned to see what was going on. They sat in silence. She relaxed a little, unfolded her arms and sat back to watch the movie. Half an hour later she turned off the television and stared at Tommy.

'You didn't come here to tell me to get a life.'

'Yes, I did,' he said, but his hesitation spoke volumes.

'You're lying; I can read you like a book Thomas.'

'Don't call me Thomas.'

'Then tell me the truth.'

'Fine.' Tommy rubbed his hands together and looked at her nervously. 'I got a girl pregnant.'

Lisbon sat up straight in her seat, clutching the arms tightly. 'You, what?'

'I'm gonna be a dad.'

Of all the things that Lisbon expected her brother to say, the fact he was about to reproduce was the last thing on the list. He could be irresponsible at times, but she didn't actually expect him to father a child without getting married first.

'How the hell did that happen?' she asked, aghast.

'Do I need to draw you a picture?' he sniggered.

'Hell no, Tommy, do you even know the mother?'

'Of course I do Reese, I love her.'

'Love?' Lisbon scoffed. She certainly knew Tommy better than that, he'd never had a proper relationship, what did he know about love?

'Yes, really.' Tommy stared at her defensively, he looked a little hurt.

Perhaps she'd gone a bit far, Lisbon held up her hands to surrender. 'Alright, then what are you doing here? Couldn't you have told me that over the phone?'

'Can't a brother tell his sister he's going to be a dad in person?'

'Not when he's lying he can't.'

'Okay.' Tommy rested his face in his hands before looking up again. He looked tired. 'I ran.'

'You ran?'

'She went to the hospital yesterday, to give birth.' He shook his head. 'I can't do it Reese. I can't be a good father, what do I know about parenting?'

'I don't think anyone really knows how to, Tommy.'

'Yeah but most people have a role model, what do I have? A dad that drank himself into an early grave.'

'I thought I raised you better than this.'

'Better than what? We practically raised ourselves after dad died.'

'Excuse me?' she asked in disbelief.

'You helped, a lot. It's not like we had parents.'

Lisbon shook her head and stood up. She picked up her uneaten dinner and carried it into the kitchen. 'You know what Tommy, if you want to throw your life away by running from your child, that's your business. I'm through with you.'

'You're through with me?' he scoffed, following her across the apartment. 'Typical Teresa.'

She placed the meal on the kitchen counter and turned around. 'What's that supposed to mean?'

'You're acting like you always do, stupid Tommy makes a mistake and doesn't see it through. I wish it was that simple Reese, but you try knowing you're a father and wishing you could do everything you can to keep that child happy. It's a fucking scary place and I don't know what to do. I don't wanna ruin my kid's life.'

Lisbon banged her fist on the counter and took a moment to contain her frustration. 'Damn it Tommy. The only way you'll ruin your kid's life is by staying out of it. You know how hard it was growing up without mom and dad. Don't make the same mistakes dad did. Go back to that hospital and be with your kid.'

'I can't.'

'Yes. You can.'

She walked across the kitchen and stood in front of him, her eyes bearing into his with as much confidence as she could find. She wasn't about to leave him to ruin her niece of nephews life as well as his own.

Tommy looked at her with a worried look on his face. She'd never seen him look so vulnerable before. 'Will you come with me?'

'I guess I can try to get a couple of days off.' Lisbon counted the days in her head, trying to figure out how many she had left to take. 'No promises though.'

They arrived at the hospital early the next morning. Lisbon doubted her ability to keep Tommy by her side from the moment they set off from her apartment to arriving by his child's bedside.

'We're looking for Aimee Statton, she came in the day before yesterday, this man is her baby's father,' said Lisbon and then they waited whilst the nurse checked her computer.

She smiled up at them both with a large grin that reached her eyes. 'Congratulations sir, Aimee had a healthy baby girl late last night. She's in room 274.'

'Thank you,' Lisbon said once it became clear that Tommy wasn't going to respond.

He stood beside her looking more like a small child than a new father. His forehead shone from a thin layer of sweat lingering upon on skin. Lisbon rested a hand on his upper arm. She was anxious to meet her niece, though probably not in the same ways Tommy was. His skin paled quickly.

'Pull yourself together; you have a daughter who is relying on her daddy.'

'I don't know what it's like to be a girl,' he whispered, wiping his head. 'Growing up it was all about being a boy and even when we were kids you were more like one of us than one of them.'

'Thanks.' Lisbon rolled her eyes. 'I think.'

'What do I do?' he asked, staring her in the eye as though she would have all the answers.

'You go in there and you introduce yourself to you baby girl.'

'What if she hates me?'

'Most kids hate their parents.'

'What if I fuck it up?'

'Come on Tommy.' She placed her hand back on his shoulder and gave it a gentle squeeze. 'You're a big boy; you'll get the hang of it.'

He nodded his head and stared at the door, resting his hand upon the handle before changing his mind and knocking. She let her hand drop down to his and she held it tightly.

'Reese?'

'Yeah?'

'Thank you.'

'You're welcome.'


	5. Chapter 5

**Title: **Picking Up The Pieces

**Rating: **T (language)

**Summary: **Five times Lisbon tries to save Tommy and one time she can't. Includes spoilers for Season 4.

**Disclaimer: **I wish, but no, it belongs to someone else.

**Notes: **A Big Bang fic written for The Mentalist Big Bang challenge on LiveJournal.

Thanks to tromana for reviewing the last chapter.

**Five**

The wedding guests began to arrive all at the same time until the small room was nearly full. Lisbon stood by the doors watching every guest, expectantly waiting for Tommy to arrive. She checked her phone and her watch repeatedly until the small chapel was full and still there was no sign of her brother. She dialled his number and cursed when it rang out a few times before going straight to voicemail.

'Reese, where's Tom? Paula's supposed to be arriving any minute,' said Joseph. Lisbon shook her head and ran a hand through her hair. Her stomach was twisted up in knots as she felt nervous for her brother. She took few enough days off work as it was, to have him screw up his own wedding. What the hell was he playing at?

'No idea.'

'I'll call Paula's dad and tell him to delay as long as possible.'

'Thanks Joe, I'll keep trying Tommy.'

She pushed open the door of the chapel and walked off towards the graveyard, she hated using her cell phone in the middle of someone's final resting place but she had little other option. Again Tommy's phone rang out before his recorded voice spoke the message which was now imprinted on Lisbon's brain.

'It's Tommy, if you're hearing this I'm busy, call me back otherwise I'll probably forget to call you.'

Lisbon drove back to the hotel as fast as she could without breaking the speed restrictions, despite enjoying her opportunities in her work to put her foot on the gas when it came to the rest of her life she was more than happy to stay within the limits.

'Tommy!' Lisbon shouted before banging on the motel room door. A brief conversation with the concierge told her he hadn't even checked out. 'I know you're in there you punk, now open the damn door.'

She lowered her hand and waited in silence for the clunk of the lock. When it came she forced her warmest smile onto her face. 'What is going on?'

She knew better than most that Tommy didn't do things for no reason, she just didn't always know what his reasons were.

'I can't go through with it,' he whispered, holding the door in front of him. She pushed it out of the way.

'Tell me again,' she said staring at the purple bruise forming over the side of his mouth.

He moved away from the door leaving Lisbon to push it completely open. Tommy had returned to his bag which he stuffed with clothes.

Lisbon raised an eyebrow. 'What is this? How did you get that bruise?'

'I'm packing up and it's nothing,' he said, zipping up the bag and throwing it to the floor by the door.

'Like hell it's nothing, you're supposed to be stood in the chapel waiting for your bride. You're not even dressed, where's your suit?'

'Cut it out Reese, I'm not getting married today.'

She pressed her hand against her right temple, a headache had already surfaced and being there with Tommy only sought to make her feel worse. She'd hoped for a carefree day watching her brother getting married and socialising with her other siblings, instead she found herself having to put her motherly hat on. Again.

'Then get down to the chapel and tell Paula because I sure as hell won't pick up the pieces after this.'

'I can't,' Tommy replied. 'I have to go.'

'You have to go.' Lisbon nodded her head and stared at her brother. How many times was he going to get himself into a mess? 'I'm a cop Tommy, whatever has happened; we can try and fix it. But you have to trust me.'

He continued packing up his belongings and tidying up the room. Lisbon stood with her arms folded across her chest. She wasn't going to let him throw his life away, for the umpteenth time.

'I don't need your help, Reese, if they know you're a cop it'll make this whole thing worse.'

'Worse than abandoning your wedding to go on the run? Where are you even going to go?'

'Texas.'

'Texas?'

'I know a guy in Midland.'

'You know a _guy_?'

'What's with the interrogation? I have to leave, that's all you need to know.'

The whole situation was absurd; she could help him, if only he let her in. Instead he was willing to walk out on his whole life and for what? He wouldn't even tell her. She let out a sigh and closed her eyes. Even if she couldn't stop him, she could at least try.

'What about Paula?'

'What about her?'

'You're supposed to be marrying her Tommy, you don't walk out on a wedding.'

'She deserves someone who will love her and not borrow money from the wrong people to pay for it.'

'Loan sharks?'

'No, the fucking Mafia, of course loan sharks. I have to go.'

He slipped his arms into his jacket and slung the bag over his shoulder. Lisbon followed him to reception where he handed in his key and when he climbed into his car she jumped into the passenger seat before he could even open his door.

'What are you doing?'

'Trying to stop you from making the biggest mistake of your life. You walk out on your wedding day; you won't get a second chance with her.'

'Maybe I don't want a second chance with her, Reese. She deserves better, someone who'll love and care for her. I'm not that guy. I lied to her about the money.'

'So you made up some story about where it came from, the most important thing is that she's happy. Right now she's gonna be wondering why you skipped out on her.'

'How many times do I have to say it? I don't want to marry her anymore. I tried to make it work but marriage? It's not for me Reese.'

'And what about Annabeth?'

He stopped what he was doing, his hand resting on the key in the ignition as he lowered his head. She felt guilty using her niece to get Tommy to do what she wanted, though it was her only hope. He could be a deadbeat when he wanted to be, but that little girl meant everything to him.

'She's at that chapel expecting to see you get married and here you are making yet another mistake.'

He shook his head and turned to face Lisbon. His eyes were sad, sadder than she'd seen them since he was a little boy.

'That's all I am to you isn't it? One big mistake. If you believe that then what are you doing here?'

'I'm trying to protect your ass like I've been doing your whole life.'

'I don't need a mother Reese; I was alright when I was sixteen. I sure as hell don't need one now.'

'At least go to the church and talk to Paula, don't burn all your bridges.'

They pulled out of the parking lot and gradually gained speed as they travelled along the highway out of town. Lisbon watched her brother in disappointment. She half hoped she'd have the right words to change in mind.

'The church is the opposite direction,' she reminded him; in the hope he simply made a mistake.

He shook his head. 'I'm not going to the church.'

'So you're going to take me with you to Texas?'

'No,' he said, staring at her with a mischievous smirk on his face. 'I'm going to drop you at the first truck stop we come to.'

xxx

The last thing Lisbon remembered when she woke up was sitting in the car beside Tommy. Her head thumped louder than it had an insurmountable time before, how had she skipped three hours? She rested a hand on the fabric dressing covering her forehead. Then a surge of panic rose up inside her and she began to panic, where was Tommy? Was her okay? Had he dropped her at the truck stop and vanished?

'It's okay Lisbon,' said a soothing tone. She looked up to the familiar voice and couldn't help but smile.

'Sam. What happened?'

'You were in an accident.'

'Where's my brother?'

'He's okay, he broke his leg. He's in surgery.'

Lisbon relaxed back against the pillows behind her and let out a sigh. She tried to remember the last moment before the accident. Nothing. She smiled again as Sam Bosco took hold of her hand. He had been the last person she expected to see that day, he was working, he wasn't meant to be at the hospital.

'They want to lay charges for dangerous driving.'

'On Tommy?' Lisbon sat up again, her head stinging under the pressure of her furrowed brow. Bosco nodded. 'But he wasn't driving dangerously.'

'I'm doing everything I can to get him off without a record.'

'Thank you,' she whispered, allowing the squeeze of her hand to help settle her back down. She squeezed back. 'Couldn't let me have one day off, could you?'

xxx

A couple of hours after Bosco left the hospital to return to work, Lisbon found a nurse forgiving enough to help her visit her brother. As the man wheeled her towards the room, Paula rushed inside and closed the door behind her. When the nurse reached out to open the door again, Lisbon stopped him.

'Wait, they should be alone,' she said.

The nurse shrugged. 'Miss Lisbon, I really should continue my rounds.'

'It's okay Andy, leave me here.'

Andy nodded and continued on down the corridor as Lisbon wheeled herself towards the door. She listened in as the voices on the other side of the door raised.

'You were going to skip town?' Paul shouted.

'Because of the money,' said Tommy, his voice strained.

'I don't even know you at all, do I?'

'Course you do baby, I love you and when I'm better I'm going to marry you.'

'It's too late Tom, today was our wedding day and you decided it wasn't for you. You don't get no second chance.'

'But Paula, baby.'

'Don't you Paula baby me, it's over Tom.'

The door opened swiftly and Paula appeared with a red face covered in fresh tears. Lisbon sent her a sympathetic smile as she rushed off down the corridor.


	6. Chapter 6

**Title: **Picking Up The Pieces

**Rating: **T (language)

**Summary: **Five times Lisbon tries to save Tommy and one time she can't. Includes spoilers for Season 4.

**Disclaimer: **I wish, but no, it belongs to someone else.

**Notes: **A Big Bang fic written for The Mentalist Big Bang challenge on LiveJournal.

This is the sixth and final chapter of this story, thanks for reading and I hope you enjoyed it. If you did, or even if you didn't, I'd appreciate a review. If you've got a spare moment. ;)

**Six**

The bullpen buzzed with activity; Van Pelt was searching amorously for information on a suspect whilst Cho and Rigsby discussed the details of the crime. Jane, being Jane, lay on the couch with his eyes closed listening, thinking, waiting for whatever was going to happen next. Lisbon sat in her office and watched her team at work. They were a good team and she enjoyed working with them, individually and together, even Jane, when he wasn't wasting time.

There was peace in the chaos of a new case and Lisbon, though adamant to get involved in everything, was more than happy to sit back every once in a while and give her team the rope. Jane would be happy with freedom though the thought of loosening the leash completely on him, or telling him about his freedom, was infinitely more difficult. Instead she pretended she was working.

She glanced at her calendar as she did most days, except most days weren't circled in red marker pen to attract her attention. She reached out and picked up the small desk item and furrowed her brow in thought. It wouldn't be the first event she'd missed that year and it probably wouldn't be the last either.

'Boss?' Rigsby appeared at her door making her jump; she dropped the calendar and rested a hand over her heart.

'Don't sneak up on me like that.'

'Sorry Boss, err, your brother is here.'

Her brother? She frowned and cleared her throat. 'Which one?'

'The one with the kid.'

'They all have a kid,' she said, though she doubted Rigsby would know that fact. 'Tommy?'

'Right. Tommy.'

'Is Annie with him?'

'Nope, by himself. I told him to wait in the kitchenette.'

'Thanks Rigs, I'll be right out.'

She saw his back first, the words Bail Enforcement printed across his jacket; the first sign that something wasn't right. She rolled her eyes and regretted not calling him up after the last time he came to visit. Of course he wasn't going to quit a job he enjoyed doing, no matter how dangerous it was. He turned around before she reached him, his eyes darting around the room never quite landing upon her.

'What's going on?' she asked, her desire to know why he'd come more important than greeting him.

'Skip the pleasantries and go straight to the important stuff, you were born to be a cop Reese,' he smiled, though it was weak and he looked anything but happy; the second sign that something wasn't right.

'Why waste time? You haven't changed your career.'

'So?'

'I thought we discussed this.'

'We did, I changed my mind. My boss didn't want me to leave and quite frankly, I enjoy doing it.'

'Then why are you here?'

At first he looked a little hurt over the assumptions she made but eventually he looked at her in the exact same way she expected. He hesitated, never quite managing to start what he was about to say.

'Come on Tommy, I haven't got all day.'

'I need your help.'

'And have you nearly kill one of my agents again? Not gonna happen Tommy.'

'Give a guy a break,' he snapped, moving into her personal space and holding out his fingers. 'I am this close to catching this one but I need some backup.'

'If it's too dangerous, you get out and let the police handle it.' She turned around and walked back towards her office.

Tommy followed, groaning with frustration. 'Teresa, this is my job, you don't have to like it but please, please just help me out here.'

'I've given you my answer Tommy.'

'Well I don't accept it.'

'To hell with what you accept. Go home, be with Annie and change your job before someone gets hurt.'

'There we go again, Saint Teresa thinks she's better thank everyone else. You know, I've been trying my dammed hardest to make this job work. I've been training and I know what I'm doing now. It's not the same as last time.'

'Yes, it is.'

'You're wrong.'

'Am I?' Lisbon turned around and stood up as tall as she could, staring into his eyes. 'You've been pulling stunts your whole life, acting like you know better, like you can do it all yourself. This isn't you Tommy; you're the same little kid who got beaten up in seventh grade. You can pretend you're one of the big boys waving a gun around and shouting your mouth off about your profession. I can't stand by and watch this, so get the hell out of my office and go do something about it.'

'Fuck you Reese, you've never been able to see what good I can do, I'm sick of you doubting me all of the God damn time. I'm gonna prove you wrong, just watch me.'

'Whatever.'

xxx

The phone rang out from her office as she finished pouring milk into her cup of coffee. She glanced at Cho who slipped into the room to answer it. She didn't like to miss calls, especially when she, in theory, could have answered it. She also didn't like to take breaks. But Tommy's visit had left her feeling less than okay. She worried about him, more than she probably should have done. It was her job to worry. She was the big sister, she was the cop, she was supposed to protect him as she'd done all of his life.

'Boss?' said Cho, walking up behind her with a sullen look on his face. He always looked less than happy but she'd come to learn the differences in his expressions.

'What's wrong?' she asked, taking a sip of her drink.

'You might want to sit down.'

'I'm fine.' Her stubbornness always served her whether she wanted it to or not. She wasn't one for people dancing around the subject or treating her carefully. She just wanted to know. 'What is it?'

'It's your brother.'

'Tommy?'

xxx

She entered the house on shaky legs, her knees asking to give way at any given moment. She didn't want to be there, she didn't want this to be a reality. Whatever had happened, she wished that time could reverse and she could go back to earlier in the day when Tommy turned up at the office.

'Agent Lisbon?' asked an officer with a sympathetic smile, the smile she gave so many times to victims' families. She hated how false it was.

She nodded.

'He's through here.'

Lisbon took tentative steps into the room and towards the sheet covered body. Blood had already begun to seep through the thin material. Her stomach churned and for the first time in her long career the thought of seeing the body made her want to vomit.

'Are you sure?' asked the office, she nodded and he pulled the sheet away from his face.

The colour in his skin had yet to shift. That was all she could remember as she fled from the room. Her legs moved quickly until she reached the exterior of the building. She couldn't do it. She rested a hand over her racing heart, the same heart that stun with the loss she couldn't bear to face. This wasn't happening.

'Lisbon.'

She turned around at the sound of Jane's voice, a voice she needed to hear at that moment. He walked towards her and enveloped her into his arms. She fell against his body, clinging to the fabric of his suit. He hadn't looked at her with sympathy; he'd looked at her with understanding, with worry and with hope. She didn't cry but her body heaved with every breath. 

xxx

Lisbon sat down at her desk. There was nothing she could do now. The body was being transported to the coroner's office and forensics were trying to piece together what happened. Wainwright had already pulled her off the case. She sat back in her seat and stared out at her team working in the bullpen. Then her eyes landed on her calendar again. She reached out and read the date once more. Her hands shook and she dropped the calendar on the desk.

'Boss,' Cho said from the doorway.

She pushed the onset of tears away and glanced up at him. 'Cho?'

'We got a call from the coroner's office; you can see your brother any time after five.'

Lisbon nodded and watched Cho wander back into the bullpen, he spoke to the rest of the team who all glanced at her office. She bowed her head and pretended to be working.

'_You've been pulling stunts your whole life.'_

She didn't want to remember the argument, she didn't want to remember the last words she said to her brother or the fact that they were horrible. How could she have been so stupid as to let him go out there and get hurt?

By four thirty she marched out of the office with barely a word to the rest of the team, she could feel them watching her through the glass as she walked towards the elevator. She arrived at the coroner's office early where she sat and waited in a small office. When they finally allowed her into the morgue she walked slowly, each step more fragile than the one before. When her mom died she was young and her father wouldn't let her see the body, when he too died the social worker in charge of the family suggested it wasn't a good idea. The number of bodies she'd seen since then was in its hundreds but nothing prepared her for that moment.

'Oh Tommy,' she gasped, covering her mouth to stop herself from being sick once again as she struggled to hold in her emotions.

She reached her other hand out to touch the curls of his hair, it was longer than the last time she saw him. She stroked his cheek and leant down to kiss his face. She'd spent her whole life trying to protect him and now, now she'd done worse than let him down, he'd asked for her help and she'd left him to die.

'Happy Birthday Tommy,' she said, dropping his hand and walking out of the morgue.


End file.
